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For the last 14 years, I haven’t had the pleasure of intimate male companionship. As a result, I’ve become a distant student and observer of men. One of the things I’ve observed is how we treat them. Take for instance Michael Jordan. Though he’s considered ‘the greatest basketball player of all time’, was MVP 5 times, has six championship titles, and his net worth is 1.1 billion; thanks to social media, he’s now a laughingstock and remembered for memes like…
Or what about Denzel Washington. The fact that he is a multi-talented actor, filmmaker, director, and producer in addition to having received three Golden Globes, a Tony and two Academy Awards and has been married to the same woman for over 32 years seems to go unnoticed, along with his great looks as he’s often remembered as…
And oh, let’s not overlook Bryan ‘Birdman’ Williams. Here, we have a multimillionaire, whose net worth is $110 million, that for all intents and purposes, should be respected for his street and business acumen. But when he publicly shares his feelings of disrespect, he’s blasted and remembered for his enunciation.
Whether Jordan’s crying, Denzel’s smiling or Birdman’s expressing his feelings, we tend to not appreciate or ignore what they are doing. Here, we have three men; two of which were ridiculed for expressing their emotions. Again, I noticed these things simply because of my studies which has ideally made me a men’s advocate; which means, I’ve developed a dislike and almost zero tolerance policy in regards with the way they are treated. Yet in my advocacy, I discovered my own hypocrisy.
Hypocrisy in Advocacy
Over the past several years, my son and I have had to have next year conversations. Meaning, we’d promise we’d get each other something, next year. This year, for my 46th birthday, he bought me a cake and a Nextbook. Upon receipt, my face lit up; but then I became defensive; thinking of how much it cost and how he could have saved that money and gotten me something less expensive. My tender and genuine display of what I thought was gratitude, soon turned into him storming out of the room. The selfish side of me was like, ‘What did I do wrong?’ Then my spirit let me know that the way I judged women for not appreciating what their sons and husbands do for them, had essentially come back to me; in that I didn’t appreciate what mine had done for me.
‘Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.’ Matthew 7:1,2
The fact that he was thoughtful enough to walk down store aisles to not only locate a gift, but chose a cake and candles, should have garnered my appreciation. The fact that he did it after working all day should have led me to praise God for the man that he is. Instead, I selfishly explained why I wasn’t used to receiving and that he should take the gift, that he’d just gone out of his way to get me, and carry it to work with him each day, instead of me enjoying it. SMH.
I share this to beseech you to be grateful for the men in your life; especially, today; after, our new president has been elected. Be thankful for everything your man, son, and other men do for you, themselves, and others. Yes, they are men and yes they are supposed to. But just because they are supposed to, doesn’t mean we’re not supposed to appreciate, value, and encourage them while they do. Whether they're expressing their feelings or going out of their way to give you a gift, shut up and be thankful. #notetoself Thank you Christian!
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