Recently I had to take yet another pre-employment assessment which to me is a legal way to assess my color. As an employer, you really don't need to know anything about me other than if I can do the job which is clearly outlined on the resume I attached to the online application that literally took more than twenty minutes to complete. You shouldn't require me to take a personality assessment because that's not what you're really doing. You're really assessing whether I'll fit into your current culture. Which is fine. But don't make the assessment over three minutes. It should be illegal for you to be able to waste 51 minutes of my time answering questions about my personality and employment history which quite frankly probably won't meet your standards. Why? Because both my personality and experience differs from the company that's requiring me to take the assessment as well as from those they hired to design the assessment. And to keep it funky, you shouldn't be able to waste 51 minutes of my time if you're not paying me. I literally just gave you one hour of my precious time - for free - which means I'mma need you to run me that pre-employment coint. Not to mention the twenty minutes it took me to complete the online application, which by the way is so antiquated. It's 2019. You don't need a long, drawn out application anymore. Especially since you're probably going to ask me a slew of questions that really have nothing to do with the job or my ability to perform it.
On top of that, you're probably going to require me to sign a consent for you to take your nosey tail into my background. Then, you want me to pee in a cup, spit on a spoon, or do something that is even more intrusive; clip my hair in order for you to find out if I'm on dem narcotics (in my Ike Turner voice). Between the 20-minute application and the 51-minute assessment, the audacity for you to then send me a thank-you-for-letting-us-waste-your-time-but-we-have-chosen-another-candidate email, is dehumanizing, at best.
The Interviewer's Version of Me vs. The Real Me
The whole job searching experiencing has caused me to lose something valuable; my dignity. Each time I take an assessment or meet with an interviewer who immediately loses the color out of their skin; is quite discouraging. Especially when they see the Staci Sweet who successfully completed the assessment, is not the Staci Sweet they envisioned. She was probably perky and outgoing. I, on the other hand, am very reserved. That Staci was probably very friendly. I, on the other hand, side eye everybody and trust no one. That's because their Staci probably went to college. Oh me? I graduated from the school of hard knocks. So the fact that I even made it past the 51-minute, degrading and dehumanizing assessment should let you know that maybe you should give this Staci a chance. But more times than not, she won't. Why? Because she wants her Staci, and not me. I digress.
The Guise of Inclusion and Diversity
The point of my soliloquy is to let employers and Human Resource personnel know that you should be a lot more inclusive with your hiring practices. Now that I think about it, to allow an assessment to do your dirty work is pretty slick. I mean because if I fail, then you can say that YOU gave me, the black woman, an opportunity to work for your company, but it was MY fault that I couldn't pass the assessment. That keeps your conscience clear of discrimination. Plus, you get to keep your I&D (Inclusion and Diversity) credentials in check. YOU gave me the opportunity, but it was MY fault that I didn't impress the recruiter who'd already envisioned her version of me and wasn't impressed with who I really am. She was looking for someone who was fake and bubbly, but was met with the real Staci. She wanted someone who'd take extra breaks and politic all day. Not the Staci with the outstanding work ethic and respect for the company's time. Oh no. She didn't want that one. She'd prefer one that would do half the job for the same money. That Staci is the one that will fit best inot the company's culture. So what happens now?
I'll keep banging out these bomb blog posts and I'll keep writing these soon-to-be bestselling classics. I'm up to 10 completed manuscripts you know? Yeah. That's what I'll keep doing. But if you know of anyone that needs a hard-working Customer Service, Social Media Manager, Graphic Designer, Copywriter or Small Business Assistant, leave ya girl a comment below. Until then, enjoy your job and be thankful that you don't have to be in these unemployment streets.
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